The Ground Zero Mosque, Brett Favre’s Return, and Roger Clemens’s Deception: All the News That Isn’t
Tue, 24 Aug 2010
In a compromise, the Rainbow Room atop Rockefeller Center will become a mosque and community center. Worse thing about the controversy—makes the Ground Zero Chuck E Cheese all but impossible. The Facebook “dislike” button actually makes you disliked. Brett Favre returns to Vikings camp, can’t remember why. The Vikings have asked the NFL for permission for Favre to use a scooter on the field. Otherwise, it’ll have to be the walker at the line of scrimmage.

Chelsea Marries, To Russia Without Love for BP Head, and Wikileaks: All the News That Isn’t
Mon, 02 Aug 2010
Security was so pervasive around Rhinebeck, NY, the groom was held for questioning in Poughkeepsie. Drones delivered the coveted invitations. No FOB—Friends of Bill—this time, just FOC. The Salahis were shot down entering Rhinebeck airspace. The Gores weren’t invited because of the seating problem. A Jewish ceremony—SWAT team broke the glass.

Mama Grizzly on the Loose, LeBron James to Play for Heat, Dolphins, Marlins et al.: All the News That Isn’t
Tue, 13 Jul 2010
Mama grizzlies attack Tea Partiers, tear them Betsy from Ross. Had Sarah Palin been raised in Wisconsin, we’d be talking Mama Muskies. In Florida, Mama Manatees. Missouri—Mama Carp. California, Mama Cass.